Both mediation and collaborative divorce keep families out of court. What’s different is the level of support.
When people first learn there are alternatives to a traditional courtroom divorce, one of the first questions I hear is:
“What is the difference between collaborative divorce and mediation?”
It’s a great question, because while both processes are designed to reduce conflict and keep decision-making in YOUR hands (not a judge’s), they work in different ways. Both mediation and collaborative divorce keep families out of court. The thing that is different is the level of support.
Mediation: One neutral Guide
In mediation, you and your spouse work with a neutral third party, the Mediator. The mediator does not represent either of you and cannot give legal advice. Their role is to guide the conversation, help you communicate productively, and support you in finding common ground.
- If you need legal advice, you can consult your own attorney outside of the mediation sessions.
- The mediator facilitates the discussion but does not advocate for either spouse.
Collaborative Divorce: A Team Approach
Collaborative divorce offers more built-in support. Each spouse has their own collaborative attorney, and depending on your family’s needs, other professionals may join the team, like:
- Financial neutrals to organize and explain the money matters
- Coaches to support communication and manage emotions
- Child specialists to make sure kids’ needs stay front and center
Everyone (yes, including the attorneys!) signs a written agreement committing not to go to court. This changes the dynamic from the start: the focus is on problem-solving and creating lasting solutions for the whole family.
An Example: Sarah and Mark
Sarah and Mark are divorcing after 15 years of marriage.
- In mediation, Sarah and Mark meet with a mediator who helps them talk through parenting time, property division, and support. When Sarah feels unsure about a financial question, she pauses to consult her lawyer outside of the mediation. Then, they return to the mediator to keep working toward an agreement.
- In collaborative divorce, Sarah and Mark each have a collaborative attorney in the room. A financial neutral helps them sort out retirement accounts and plan for the future. A coach keeps conversations respectful and on track. A child specialist helps design a parenting plan that supports their kids’ needs. The whole team works together to guide the process.
Which Option is right for you and your family?
Both Mediation and Collaborative Divorce give families a respectful, out-of-court path. Mediation can be a good fit if you and your spouse communicate well and just need some structure for your discussions. Collaborative divorce may be the better choice if you want more professional support, especially when finances are complex and/or children are involved.
If you would like to talk through which process may be best for your family, I would be happy to connect with you. Please use this contact form: LINK