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Telfer Family Law & Mediation

Salt Lake City Divorce & Mediation

801-464-4004

  • Home
  • About Diana Telfer
  • Family Law
    • Collaborative Divorce
    • Mediation
    • Premarital Agreements
    • Limited Representation Services
    • Child Custody/Child Support
    • Alimony
    • Negotiated Settlements
    • Private Guardian Ad Litem
    • Special Master
  • Wills & Trusts
  • Blog
    • In The News
  • Contact Us
  • Pay Online

Could Our Limits Be Gifts to Discovering Our Potential?

December 1, 2021 By Diana Telfer

Today’s blog provides a question rather than answers.

In his book, The Sacred Enneagram, author Christopher L. Heuertz writes that our limitations, destructive patterns, addictions, or other seemingly unpresentable parts are invitations “to return to what wounded us as children so that our eyes may be opened to the gift of who we are and who we can become.”   Mr. Heuertz has spent his career understanding the Enneagram of Personality.  If you have not heard of the Enneagram, it is a tool that has been around for thousands of years.  As Mr. Heuertz explains, the Enneagram offers nine personality types that “explain the ‘why’ of how we think, act, and feel.”  He further writes “the Enneagram is a blueprint for developing character that each of us carries throughout our life, but one that we don’t open until we discover our type.”  The Enneagram types explain the strengths common in each type and also the “shadow” side of each type caused by childhood wounds. For instance, my dominant type is Type Six, the Loyalist.  It is the type that needs to be sure and certain.  At their best Sixes are a source of determination and strength. But often Sixes doubt themselves.  Type Sixes include individuals who were often raised in unpredictable situations that left them doubting and disbelieving.    The Enneagram is a complex tool that not only can help us understand who we are, the good and the bad, but also our incredible potential that is there to be uncovered.  Mr. Heuertz asks “are we suffering the pathology of how we were hurt or neglected in our childhood?  Is it because someone harmed us or is it because we actually need an obvious limitation as an invitation to give ourselves to our inner work?”

Here’s my question for you to ponder: What would happen if you perceived your destructive tendencies as needed gifts rather than limitations and invitations to discover who we are and who we can become?  

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When working through my divorce I did not understand many of the implications of my decisions and Diana was able to explain how the decisions would affect me and my kids, all while showing compassion for stress and emotional duress I was experiencing during my divorce. Diana’s guidance saved me from some serious issues around alimony along with parent time issues I would have experienced if I would have tried to file on my own. Even though my Ex and I were trying to divorce amicably, there were many issues and having Ms Telfer as an advocate to draw on her experience to see both long and short term implications of the decisions being made has proven to be well worth the expense. I have been able to refer to my decree a number of times when disagreements have arrived with my ex that had the potential to have cost me much more in follow up than I spent up front. I know there are many different styles of attorneys and I interviewed a number of attorneys before selecting Diana due to Diana being the best fit for what I was trying to accomplish. I recommend doing your research especially if you are not simply looking for a “hired gun” but looking for someone who has a strong sense of justice and can think outside the normal channels to solve issues.

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