How the Guidance of a Certified Financial Divorce Advisor Can Change Lives
When Sandra walked through my door for her initial consultation, I was quite impressed. She definitely looked the part of a high-power executive. Her walk, handshake, and appearance all exuded confidence. She had risen through the ranks of a successful high-tech company to her current position of Senior Vice President. She and her husband, Bob, had met 15 years ago when the company was just a startup. They were married soon thereafter and had two children, who are now 12 and 10. When the children were very young, and Sandra was promoted to a vice president position, Sandra and Bob agreed that it would be best for Bob to stay home to care for the children. While Bob cared for the children, he also managed the family’s finances and had done well investing their savings.
A Marriage Meets Its Challenges. However, Bob recently approached Sandra that he was not happy in their marriage and wanted a divorce. He felt alone in their marriage with Sandra’s focus on her career and the children, which left very little time for Bob. Sandra was devastated. We started talking through the various decisions that would need to be made. When I began asking her about the couple’s financial circumstances, Sandra’s demeanor changed.
Confronting Financial Ignorance. I asked her what had shifted in the conversation. Sandra admitted she was embarrassed that she had left the finances entirely to her husband and she only had a vague idea of their financial situation. She knew her husband had invested well so she had not paid much attention. Plus talking about money caused Sandra stress. Growing up money was tight and most of her parents ‘arguments revolved around money. Sandra managed her money by looking at her checking account balance and she spent according to what was in her account. Sandra admitted that she was embarrassed that she felt ignorant about her personal finances. Looking like an idiot in any circumstance was her biggest fear.
Wider Financial Fears Among Women. Sandra is not alone in having a complicated relationship with money. In a 2023 Fidelity Investment survey, women’s number one source of stress is money. The survey revealed that women’s primary goal is to shore up the wealth they lack because they have 30 cents of wealth for every dollar a white man possesses. Men’s primary financial goal is saving for retirement. Another roadblock for women building financial wealth is that they tend to be the adult child who bears the primary care-taking responsibility of aging parents. A study by Equitable, a financial services organization, involving more than 1,200 U.S. women revealed how relationship status affects women’s attitudes and behaviors toward finances. While having sufficient money to cover unexpected expenses is top concern regardless of relationship status, singe, divorced and widowed women reported meeting short-term financial needs (e.g. being able to pay monthly expenses) was also a major worry.
The Proactive Approach: Hiring a Financial Neutral. One in four divorced women start working with a financial professional after their marriage ends. However, at Telfer Family Law & Mediation, I encourage my clients to not wait until after the divorce but to retain a financial neutral during the separation and/or divorce process. A certified financial divorce advisor (CDFA) assists clients in gathering the relevant financial documents, developing realistic budgets, determining reasonable spousal support amounts, and dividing a couple’s marital estate that best supports each spouse’s needs, interests, and goals.
Conclusion: Financial Empowerment Post-Divorce. At the conclusion of Sandra’s divorce and with the help of a CDFA, Sandra felt much more comfortable with her finances. The financial neutral was able to educate Sandra around her finances without judgment. Sandra came away with a better understanding of her financial state and felt confident in her ability to manage her money better and continue to grow her financial wealth. While the divorce was difficult, she was able to take the opportunity to transform her relationship with money.
Navigating your finances during a divorce can feel overwhelming, but you don’t have to do it alone. At Telfer Family Law & Mediation, our team is ready to provide you with the expertise and support you need to ensure a fair and empowering financial outcome.
Our office is located at 2150 South 1300 East #500, Salt Lake City, UT 84106.
Contact us today at (801) 464-4004 to empower your financial future with trusted guidance!