Divorce

How to Avoid Draining Your Finances in Divorce: Smart Strategies for Women

March 24, 2025 By Diana Telfer

Divorce is not just emotionally taxing; it can also take a serious financial toll if not handled carefully. For women, the financial stakes can be even higher, especially when balancing career changes, care-giving responsibilities, and long-term financial security.

The good news?

There are ways to protect your finances while still achieving a fair and equitable outcome. Here’s how to navigate divorce without emptying your bank account.

A Tale of Two Divorces: What to do vs. What not to do

Meet Sarah: The Costly, High-Conflict Divorce

Sarah had been married for twelve years, stepping back from her career to focus on raising their children. When divorce hit, emotions ran high, and every disagreement turned into a legal battle. Sarah felt pressured to fight for every household item and contested every financial detail, leading to drawn-out litigation. By the time the divorce was finalized, legal fees had drained much of her settlement, making financial recovery harder than expected.

What went wrong?

Letting emotions drive financial decisions
Engaging in unnecessary legal battles over minor assets
Not considering long-term financial needs

Now, Meet Emily: The smart, financially-savvy Divorce

Emily also left the workforce for several years to focus on family, but she approached her divorce differently. Instead of costly litigation, she used collaborative divorce to negotiate a fair settlement.

She retained a collaboratively trained attorney interested in helping her reach a resolution focused on what was important to her: securing financial stability, prioritizing retirement savings and child support rather than minor assets. She also worked with a financial advisor to ensure a sustainable future. As a result, she walked away with a strong financial plan and the confidence to rebuild her career.

What she did right:

Focused on long-term financial well-being over emotional retaliation
Used mediation and collaborative divorce methods
Worked with professionals to secure her financial future

Practical Ways to Protect Your Finances During Divorce

1. Consider Mediation or a Collaborative Divorce

Litigation is costly. Instead of heading straight to court, consider mediation or collaborative divorce, where both parties work together to reach a fair agreement. This approach saves money and often leads to better post-divorce relationships.

2. Prioritize the “Big Picture”

Fighting over furniture or small assets may not be worth the legal fees. Focus on what truly matters: securing financial stability for yourself and your children.

3. Keep Emotions out of financial Decisions

It’s tempting to want to “win” in divorce, but making financial decisions based on anger or resentment can lead to long-term regret. Think strategically about your future financial security.

4. Know your Financial Rights

Many women underestimate their financial rights in a divorce. Get informed about spousal support, child support, and the division of assets. Consult a lawyer and financial expert to ensure you’re getting a fair settlement.

5. Be smart about legal Fees

Every email, phone call, and court appearance costs money. Work efficiently with your attorney by preparing documents in advance and staying organized. Limit unnecessary communication to keep costs down.

6. Protect your Credit and Assets

If you share joint accounts, consider closing or freezing them to prevent unauthorized spending. Monitor your credit report to ensure there are no surprises.

7. Think Long-Term

It’s easy to focus on immediate concerns but consider how your settlement will affect your future. Are you securing retirement funds? Will you need to re-enter the workforce? Making informed decisions now will set you up for long-term success.

My Goal as an Attorney: Empowering Women through financially smart Divorces

Divorce is hard, but it doesn’t have to leave you financially vulnerable. By approaching the process with strategy and foresight, like Emily did, you can protect your finances and move forward with confidence.

If you’re navigating a divorce and want to ensure financial stability, my firm is here to help.

Let’s work together to create a plan that prioritizes your future without unnecessary financial strain.

Contact us today to learn how to divorce smartly and sustainably: https://telferfamilylaw.com/contact/

Divorce and Family Businesses: Navigating the Challenges

March 14, 2025 By Diana Telfer

Family businesses often face unique challenges, especially when personal relationships, such as marriages, dissolve. Divorce can significantly impact both the personal and professional dynamics within a family-run enterprise. Drawing from James Grubman’s insights in Strangers in Paradise: How Families Adapt to Wealth Across Generations, we can explore how families navigate these challenges and adapt to maintain both family harmony and business continuity.

Understanding the Intersection of Family and Business

Grubman emphasizes that families of wealth often experience a cultural shift, akin to immigrants entering a new land of affluence. This transition requires adaptation to new norms and expectations. In the context of a family business, this means recognizing that personal relationships and business operations are deeply intertwined. When a divorce occurs, it doesn’t just signify the end of a personal relationship but can also disrupt established business roles and expectations.

Challenges arising from Divorce in Family Businesses

1. Valuation and Division of Assets

Determining the value of a family business is complex, especially when intangible assets like brand reputation and customer loyalty are involved. Traditional financial statements may not capture the full picture, leading to disputes during asset division.

2. Emotional Entanglement

Family businesses often carry deep emotional significance, making objective decision-making challenging during a divorce. The overlap of family roles and business responsibilities can blur boundaries, leading to conflicts.

3. Impact on Business Operations

Divorce can lead to shifts in leadership and changes in business strategy, potentially destabilizing the company’s operations and affecting employee morale.

Strategies for navigating Divorce in Family Businesses

Establish clear Agreements: Implementing prenuptial or postnuptial agreements (https://telferfamilylaw.com/premarital-agreements/) can provide clarity on the division of business assets in the event of a divorce. Such agreements can outline each spouse’s rights and responsibilities, minimizing potential conflicts.
Seek professional Guidance: Engaging financial experts or forensic accountants can assist in obtaining an objective valuation of the business, ensuring a fair division of assets.
Maintain open Communication: Fostering transparent discussions potentially with the support of a mediator (https://telferfamilylaw.com/mediation/) among family members about the future of the business can help in aligning expectations and mitigating misunderstandings.

Adaptation: The Key to overcoming Challenges

Grubman highlights that adaptation is crucial for families dealing with wealth across generations. In the face of divorce, adapting involves acknowledging the evolving family dynamics and proactively addressing potential business implications. By embracing change and implementing structured strategies, families can navigate the complexities of divorce while preserving the integrity and success of their business ventures.

I have walked alongside family business owners as they grapple with the personal and professional upheaval that divorce can bring. I’ve seen the pitfalls, the triumphs, and the creative solutions that allow businesses AND families to move forward.

If you find yourself facing these challenges, know that you don’t have to navigate them alone. Let’s talk about how to protect what you’ve built while paving the way for a future that works for everyone involved.

Key Takeaways for Family Business Owners facing Divorce

Dividing a Family Business in Divorce: Work with professionals to properly value the business and determine fair settlement options.
Business Succession Planning: Have a plan in place to maintain stability and avoid disruptions.
Legal Strategies for Family Business Divorce: Use prenuptial or postnuptial agreements to safeguard business interests.
Financial Impact of Divorce on Business: Address liquidity concerns and long-term operational stability.

By integrating these family business divorce strategies, you can ensure that both your personal and professional future remains secure.

Contact my firm today for legal guidance on protecting your family-owned business during divorce: https://telferfamilylaw.com/contact/

Our office is located at 2150 South 1300 East #500, Salt Lake City, UT. 84106.

Navigating New Norms: A Guide to “Our Family in Two Homes” Workbook

August 26, 2024 By Diana Telfer

When families experience separation or divorce, it often creates a whirlwind of emotions and adjustments, particularly for children who may find themselves shuttling between two homes. In these situations, finding the right resources to support kids through such transitions becomes crucial. One valuable tool that I use that is designed for this purpose is the “Our Family in Two Homes” workbook. This insightful workbook aims to help children understand and manage their feelings during this time of change, and today, we’ll explore why it’s a vital resource that I use for families.

Understanding “Our Family in Two Homes”

Created by Jacinta Gallant, a Canadian collaborative family law attorney and mediator, the “Our Family in Two Homes” workbook is specifically tailored to support parents who are navigating the complex emotions associated with separation and divorce. The workbook is designed with a child-centric focus, incorporating engaging activities and prompts to make the process of decision making as smooth as possible.

Key Features and Benefits

Hopes, Goals, and Values: One of the core aspects of the workbook is its focus on helping parents identify their hopes and goals for the divorce process and co-parenting relationship, the communication conflicts that have created obstacles to resolution, and the values that impact their decision making. It provides various exercises that encourage each parent to express their emotions in a safe and structured way. This workbook inspires curiosity and self-discovery through engaging exercises and questions.
Resource: The workbook helps parents make sense of their family situation. Through illustrations and simple explanations, it answers common questions and concerns that parents have regarding custody, parent-time, spousal support, and property division.
Resilience Building: Adjusting to life in two homes can be challenging, but the workbook includes activities that build resilience and coping skills. By focusing on strategies for managing emotions and adapting to new routines, it empowers parents to handle transitions with greater ease.
Positive Reinforcement: It emphasizes the positive aspects of living in two homes and helps parents create parenting plans that address their unique situation and new family arrangement. This positive reinforcement can be crucial in shifting a parent’s perspective and reducing feelings of fear or confusion. With the insight that comes in completing the workbook, couples can learn better communication skills that can improve their coparenting relationship.

Final Thoughts

Adjusting to life with two homes is undoubtedly a complex journey for parents and their children, but resources like “Our Family in Two Homes” workbook offer invaluable support. By providing my clients with tools to express their emotions, understand their new family dynamics, and build resilience, this workbook helps ease the transition and foster a positive outlook for my client’s new family arrangement.

My clients feel more empowered through the divorce or separation process having completed the exercises in “Our Family in Two Homes.” This resource is a total game changer – my clients who decided to use it loved it.

I do get it, that “Workbook” might trigger some school memories, but rest assured there is no wrong when you are working with it. It is intuitive. It will help you and your family embark on this transition. Plus, you have myself and my team guiding you along the way with all our experiences and competencies.

Contact me at (801)464-4004 for more information.

The Soft Side of Finance: Navigating Divorce with Experts Diana & Chalise

July 23, 2024 By Diana Telfer

Discover how teaming up with Attorney Diana L. Telfer and CDFA Chalise R. Westenskow offers more than just legal and financial advice but a comprehensive support system during divorce

CDFAs play a pivotal role in helping couples and their legal representatives craft fair divorce settlements by leveraging their expertise in tax law, asset division, and financial planning. Beyond technical skills, the hallmark traits of a qualified CDFA include humility, empathy, clear communication, and unwavering commitment.

Recently, I had the privilege of interviewing Chalise R. Westenskow, CFP, APMA, CDFA, who exemplifies all these qualities. Both of us share a passion for assisting separating and divorcing couples in navigating their settlements through mediation and collaborative divorce.

Diana: Tell us a bit about yourself and how you became a CDFA.

Chalise: With over 20 years in financial planning, I’ve always enjoyed guiding clients through various aspects of finance. However, it became clear to me that divorced clients faced unique challenges that required specialized support even before settlements were finalized. Money is deeply emotional, particularly for women, who often need an advisor attuned to these nuances—the “softer” side of finances. Understanding the behavioral aspects of finance fascinates me: deciphering what influences clients’ financial decisions during times of overwhelming uncertainty. My role extends beyond numbers; I serve as a reassuring presence during their darkest moments, empowering them through financial education to make informed decisions.

Diana: How do you typically assist clients going through divorce?

Chalise: Prior to mediation, I meticulously review my client’s financial landscape. I develop multiple scenarios for asset division and support, illuminating the tax implications of each option. This preparation ensures my clients understand their financial future post-divorce. At times, I accompany clients to mediation or remain on-call to run financial scenarios as negotiations unfold. By focusing on financial matters, I enable mediators and attorneys to prioritize parenting and other crucial aspects of the divorce process.

Diana: How do clients typically find you?

Chalise: Most individuals going through divorce prefer the impartial guidance of a financial neutral like myself to facilitate fair financial and property resolutions. They often discover me through the Institute of Divorce Financial Analysts’ directory, although referrals from mediators and attorneys are also common.

Diana: What types of clients do you serve?

Chalise: I work with a diverse clientele facing varying financial circumstances. Often, I assist spouses who were less involved in financial matters during marriage, helping bridge knowledge gaps without judgment. From compiling comprehensive financial data to projecting post-divorce budgets, my goal is to empower clients with clarity and confidence in their financial decisions. Even financially savvy individuals seek guidance on complex matters like home equity buyouts or retirement fund allocations, each with distinct tax implications.

Diana: What qualifications are necessary to become a CDFA?

Chalise: Certification from the Institute of Divorce Financial Analysts is essential, providing rigorous training in tax law, estate planning, cash flow analysis, retirement planning, and more. While my extensive experience as a financial planner was invaluable, obtaining the CDFA credential enriched my expertise in divorce planning specifically.

Diana: What are some common challenges your clients face, and how do you help them?

Chalise: Homeownership and mortgage refinancing pose significant challenges amidst rising property values and interest rates. I guide clients through viable options they might not have considered, ensuring clarity amid emotional uncertainty. Similarly, navigating the division of retirement accounts requires meticulous attention to tax implications and survivor benefits, often overlooked in the midst of divorce proceedings. By reviewing tax returns and financial statements, I help uncover hidden assets or fringe benefits that may impact financial settlements.

Diana: What message would you like individuals going through divorce to remember?

Chalise: Money is deeply personal and emotional. Each person’s relationship with money shapes their decisions profoundly. For women especially, financial decisions are often intertwined with their aspirations, self-esteem, and well-being. By empowering clients with knowledge, I aim to demystify finances and foster confident decision-making. Education is key; informed decisions lead to positive outcomes, irrespective of one’s initial familiarity with financial matters.

For more information on collaborative divorce or mediation, feel free to contact me and my team at (801) 464-4004. You can also reach Chalise directly at (801) 469-4864.